“Uh. What the hell is this?”
- You, probably

So, we wanna be clear: Rattle doesn't resort to chintzy marketing ploys, mk?

We are a smiley cartoon dinosaur with a jetpack, by golly, and that is a trusted symbol of a bedrock, completely ployless institution.

...

Okay, okay. You got us. 

We started a newsletter, and this is it.

You: "What is this, 2015?"

Well, first of all, look who's reading an email. (What is this... 2013?)

And secondly, before judging us too harshly... check this list out below. See how often you find yourself saying, "Yeah... True."

• The world is currently a mess, and so is making money.
  
• Aliens may be real, but E.T. ain't coming down to save anybody — let alone you and the rest of the revenue team.
• Nobody really reads industry-related stuff, not because it's not important, but because it's terribly boring. 
• You might benefit from knowing the latest stuff that's happening, and it would be helpful if reading about it wasn't a form of torture.

Yup. There's the pitch.

We're here to help you stay in-the-know, including new tools, best practices, all that, and have some fun while we do it. 

We're basically asking you to "trust the process, nerd" — whether you self-identify as a nerd (hello, fellow nerd!) or not (what are you hiding, nerd?).

Let's kick this thing off with a few bests of July. Next month, we'll use this section for a bigger, meatier, less "table-setting" stuff. Cross our hearts.

• New Report: That's So McKinsey 💁‍♀️
  Everybody's favorite — or, meh, second-favorite — global consulting firm dropped a terrifying 68-page report (in that it's 68 pages) predicting 30% of all tasks could be automated away, in no small part thanks to generative A.I., by as early as 2030. "Uh, there's some silver lining in there, too?" they probably said. I dunno. I had A.I. summarize the report for me. (link)
  
  
• Cool Tool Alert: Testbox!
  Sure, it kinda sounds like a spinoff of the Saw franchise (just me? ok), as we keep a close eye on all the neat tools coming out (especially as of-late), Testbox's ability to let you make lightning-quick demo environs truly impressed us — and no they aren't paying us to say this. They probably don't even know about us. (My next-door neighbor actually works for an old, manual competitor — 100% true — and let me tell you last Sunday was the last time I'm putting extra celery salt in the macaroni salad.) (link)
  
  
• Biggest SFDC News: Woof? 😓
  On the concern that the Lovecraftian monster that has become of Salesforce won't continue consuming the souls of the damned at its current rate, Morgan Stanley downgraded them to Equal Weight this past week. (link) Could have something to do with their recent 9% price hike? (link)
  
  
• Post: Them Revenue Governance Boyz 🕵️ 
  Clari CEO, Andy Byrne, put the need for a new way of thinking recently: "The first step is developing a revenue governance strategy." That's actually the last part of his post, but the first part (where he sets up all of the argument) is pretty good too. (link)
  
  
• Post: Building Your House Requires an Architect 🏠
  According to Max Meader — friend of the brand — 47% of the mid-market companies he surveyed employ plenty of SFDC admins and devs, but don't introduce an architect character until it's too late. "And that’s a real problem," says Mr. Meader, and not because that's exactly what was wrong with The Matrix sequels. (link)
  

Idea: Stop treating sales reps like puppets

First, the only puppets that should be making calls are on "Crank Yankers," ok? Second, automation is the new way to keep them accountable.

*Squeeze* value out of sales call transcripts

Step 1: Transcribe your sales calls. Step 2: Run the transcripts through an A.I. chatbot (using helpful prompts). Step 3: Infinite Closed Wons forever.

"What do these people actually do? They go to meetings."
Shocking news: Big Tech's much maligned "fake work" problem goes deeper than "sales rep lazy." This is the story of a tech employee named Graham who was paid a hefty salary, but had little meaningful work to do. (What a life, right?) Well, it turns out the issue wasn't that he was lazy, it was something known as "lazy management."

I wonder what that term could possibly mean. Anyway, this piece is fantastically eye-opening and sheds light on a side of the tech industry that's not often talked about.

Give it a go while you're not doing your own job. (link) 

Our other quick recs:

• Don't Call Your Mother, Call Your Competition (link) 
• Using AI to Build Stronger Connections With Customers (link)
  
• Satire: The Louvre is Thrilled To Announce It Is Rebranding to "UVR" (link) 

A.I. Ops is coming...

What do you think of the (obviously coming ) inclusion of a new dept inside of GTM that is meant to leverage A.I.? Where do you think A.I. Ops naturally fits in the org chart? Is the robot dance still cool? Was it ever, really? Let us know what you think, we're already discussing it here.

So whaddya think?

If you've got feelings, thoughts, or recipes for a macaroni salad that tastes "kinda passive aggressive," reach out to therattler@gorattle.com. A real-live team of humans (👋) is behind this and while we yearn for your admiration, we'll settle for your trenchant anonymous hatred, too.